Nomad's Land

A dubious pun for a completely unrelated blog!

Why Yes, Schwarzesmarken is Definitely Hot Garbage

Nick Creamer’s recent ANN preview remarks sparked a fair amount of angst among Muv Luv fans and many found them unsubstantiated. Unfortunately, said fans are delusional. Let’s look at the facts below:

The Name:

Schwarzesmarken. Have you seen a shittier name this side of Glasslip? I mean come on. Actually, P.A. Works may also take that title with Haruchika. That show will also be disappointingly appalling. To be fair, at least the Germans would pronounce all of it. Danes would struggle. Think of the Danes!


Satanic worship and demonisation of Communists:

They’re the 666th squadron and some of them are wearing crosses. Inside the Eastern Bloc. READ THE SIGNS PEOPLE.

It’s purely here to advocate abstinence:

Teenage girls going around shooting up leaping hairy ball sacks. There’s also blood EVERYWHERE. It’s not exactly subtle.


The dialogue:

It’s crap. Like, really stilted stool. I don’t care what you say, it’s shit. If you disagree, you are an alien. Not the US fearmongering kind, but out of this world, possibly Heechee kind.


Speaking of which,


Is it a “laserjagd” a verb, an adjective? Adjectiverb? Possibly noun. I think it’s a noun. Laser’s an acronym, so light amplification by stimulated emission of radiation for justified aggression in guarding Damnation? I’m on to you Satanists.

Just checked the Muv Luv Wiki:


“First coined by the East Germans, laserjagd is a strategic warfare term used to refer to the NVA’s tactics of sending TSFs into a large BETA formation to hunt and destroy Laser-Class BETA.”

Ah yes, much clearer.

This is a joke. That said, Schwarzemarken has a flawed first episode. It can be two things. Thanks to MementoMorie for pointing out the lunacy of Laserjagd.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter